pammal hari-jokes for all occssions-ha! ha! Ha! pl don"t laugh-
wife and husband jokes:
1.a wife was saying -" I am fed up with this man,I do not know what shall I do -"No problem" heard one voice-"kill yourself" the voice was her husband"s.
2.a villian was following a lady for a pretty long time,but he did not suceed-knowing his pitiable condition-the lady said-"No problem"I will be yr wife in my next birth.
3.a woman and her husband were walking on the track of a lake.Suddenly the wife fell down and was sinking in the water-Her husband-I am sure the god will help me to fetch another good woman.
4.a husband and wife were quarelling for a long time -fed up with this wife said-"No problem" I will not be yr wife in my next birth
5.a wife was in her death bed.She was looking at him intently.Husband said"No problem"you will reach the destination-"What"wife said-Husband replied-"hell"
6.Wife said one day" I M GOING to MAKE A wonderfull receipe to day."no problem" said husband " i have already made up my mind"
7.a husband was eating-wife said Oh God! I have forgotton to add one important ingredient-husband-what"-wife said"poison"
8.Huaband was sitting and enjoying.Suddenly thick smoke started coming from kitchen-Husband "what happened"-wife " I am just making a fine receipe for you"
he
9.Husband was looking intently at a receipe AND SAID "fine"-Wife "sorry" to day I made a .mistake
10Husband was reading News paper in the drawing room .Suddenly he felt cold in his feet and found water was coming inside the house.He shouted -Wife replied from bath room-'I am just taking bath"
11.wife was driving and found the brake did not apply.She phoned her husband"dear the brake did not apply and I am in trouble"-husband-Oh God! I have forgotton to tell the workshop fellow to repair it. --"sorry"
12.seeing a new car-wife asked -"How could you get this new car? Husband replied"My second wife presented to me"
13,Husband and wife were attending a sermon in the church.Suddenly a man asked the husband"Is she your wife" -wife shouted -'How dare you are? the man replied" yesterday I saw this man with another lady"-Sorry"
14a sermon was going in full swing and finally the father said"What all you wanted you wll get".My God! "I AM satisfied" wife said-Husband asked " what was your wish" wife replied -"to get you hell"
15.A sermon was going in the church in full session-suddenly the father said"All your sins will get washed away"-wife said " I have not committed any sin-except one"
husband asked " what" " marrying this man"
14.
Husband and wife jokes:
ReplyDelete1.H&b were sleeping ,when there was a big sound ,Hu. Jerked and
got up and tried to wake up wife
.She shouted"why do u wake up?I was in the midst of a dream,where, I saw I was elected as the President of my club!Ha!Ha!
2.H&b were driving,she took thr wheel.Suddenly ,she stopped.
ReplyDeleteH.What happened?
W.Isaw a man!
H.What if?
W.He was my ex husband!
Ha!Ha!.
3.H&w were sitting on the verandha.A lady appeared suddenly!H.How dare u are?
ReplyDeleteW.who are u.
lady visitor_- Ask your husband ? ha!ha!
4.Suddenly,a big sound came from the kitchen.
ReplyDeleteH..
What happened ?
w.pat came reply!I was making a sound receipe!ha!ha!
General jokes:
ReplyDelete1.In a park one visitor came and saw all seats occupied.
He wanted to sit .He made an idea.He shouted "I am a Corona man!.All suddenly ran away.ha!ha!
2.Two were drinking.one said"world is going to sink".The other said in any case you will...ha!ha!.
ReplyDelete3.A girl and a boy were talking.Girl said "you should marry me."
ReplyDeleteBoy.But one condition?
G.what?
B.you should never cook!ha! Ha!
4.Father shouted to his 4 year old boy."you are a liar"
ReplyDeleteBoy.pat came the reply."ok"
What about you? Ha!ha!
5.Two children were playing.One said!War is on".The other said ,"but one condition."
ReplyDeleteWhat?
Other.Iwill only win"ha!ha!.
6.Two children were playing_let us play_-H&w game.
ReplyDeleteH.but
One condition.
W.what?
H.I only will scold you always.ha!ha!
7.A conccert was about to start.The vidwan started "Sa ri"
ReplyDeleteOne rasika_ok ok.everything ok.start immediately.ha!ha!
8.In a concert a vidwan started "Sani Thodi"(athyagaraja kriti)
ReplyDeleteOne rasika_"Why do you curse the Raga?(Thodi is a beautiful Raga?)ha!ha!
9. A concert was about to start.Vidwan"sa pa...He could not reach upper Sa,but just raised his hand.
ReplyDeleteOne rasika "you will never reach destination"Ha!ha!
10.A concert was in full session,at one point vidwan could not reach the higher octave,but he just raised his hand.
ReplyDeleteViolinistsaid-He!I cannot raise my hand like you?ha!ha!
Music Jokes:
ReplyDelete1.In a concert a vidwan was singing "Vaa Thaa"kriti.He repeated several times.
On rasika shouted "we cannot keepon giving you ".ha!ha!.
2.In a concert musician suddenly stopped and yawned"Ah..."
Violinist-<sorry,"I cannot play onthis"ha!ha!
3.In a concert -vocalist said "next one will.be a difficult Raga and difficult Thala"
ReplyDeleteOne rasika said"we may have "difficulty"in listnening.ha!ha!
4.A lady vocalist was wearing so many jewellery.A front row lady rasikaa said"she is fit to be in a jewellery shop" ha!ha!
ReplyDelete6.Ina concert-in Tani Avarthanam,no body did go.A rasika "why"
ReplyDeleteThe canteen is closed today.ha!ha!
7.A concert was about to start,the vocalist started fully opening his mouth,Suddenly a bunch of mosquitoes went in.Poor fellow stopped abruptly.ha!ha!
ReplyDelete8.In a,concert,a vocalist started "Muruganai ninai ellam kidaikkum".
ReplyDeleteA rasika"I want "vada"ha!ha!
9.In a concert a vocalist-"Podume Podum"
ReplyDeleteA rasika"we know we know".haha!
10.In a,cocert there was a commotion in the gallery.
ReplyDeleteVocalist-"Vilayada ithu nerama".ha!ha!
Father & Son jokes:
ReplyDelete1.S.Father..you say .."What a world"
S.I also say "What a world?
World is so complex,is it not? Ha!ha!
2.S.Father?What is your age?
ReplyDeleteF.What for?
S.At times you behave like a child..that is why..?ha!ha!
3.Two children were playing.one said "No fighting for one hour.ok?
ReplyDeleteOther child.but one condition?
1st one,What?
2nd.After one hour I will start fighting?ha!ha!
2.Two children were playing.one said"No fighting for one hour ok.
ReplyDelete2nd one. BUt one condition!
1st one. What?
2nd.After one hour I will only start fighting?ha!ha!
3.4 year old child asked father!Father,I have a doubt?
ReplyDeleteF.What?
S.What is life?
F."as we see"
S.Ok Ok...ha!ha!
4.S.Father!My friend is a bad boy.
ReplyDeleteF.How?
S.He always says "you -son of a fool!ha!ha!
5.A crying child approached father.
ReplyDeleteF.What happened?
S.Mother says" I have to go to school today"!
F."I cannot do anything!Ha!ha!.
6.Two children were playing.One said"I am strong",the other said "I am stronger".Then there was fighting!
ReplyDeleteHearing this Father asked"What is happening ?"
Two said "Father,no problem."We were just testing,who is stronger?Ha!ha!
7.Two children were fighting.. one said"you will go to hell!"
ReplyDeleteThe other also said "you will go to hell ".
On seeing ,father told them ,"both wont go to hell " But now you both will go to school!ha!ha!
8.a child was coming from.school,crying...
ReplyDeleteMother,What happened?
Ch.Teacher scolded me saying "Iam a bad boy"
Mother..(it is true..but..) ha!ha!
9.Aboy came from school,with dirty dress.
ReplyDeleteOn seeing this..Mother asked"What happened?
B.No problem! We were playing dirty trics.!ha!ha!
10 Father to son."Why did you tell a lie?
ReplyDeleteSon.Father..then,why you did tell a lie to my mother,yesterday?ha!ha!
On seeing his silence for some time,father enquired and found.."My God!(his son was writing on the TV screen.)ha!ha!
ReplyDeleteJokes for all occasions:
ReplyDelete1.Two men were talking.One said" I am worried-My daughter is to be married"
The other-"What is her age?"
1st one-"eight years!
2nd-ha!ha!
2.On seeing a beautiful woman ,one man told her "Ihave seen you somewhere?"
ReplyDeleteWoman replied"yes, yes ,Iam with my husband!
The man totally felt sorry !Ha!ha!
3.Husband &wife:
ReplyDeleteH-Why you always on hurry?
W-If I pretend like this only,my friends will mind me" Ha!Ha!
Jokes .general:
ReplyDelete1.One man was sinking &shouting.help!Seeing this ,man on the river bank,He! !tell me your "pass word" ,I will inform your wife.!Ha!ha!.
2.Husband &wife were walking on the river bank.Suddenly,wife was about to be fallen!
ReplyDeleteH."I thought something good will happen!"Ha!Ha!
3.H.Now a days I find you talk less!What?
ReplyDeleteW.For past ten days, I hold policy"talk less,work more!"(by husband)Ha!ha!
4.Everybody was running.Seeing this,one man asked"what for?
ReplyDeleteOne running man"I do not know"Ha!ha!
5.wife,"From tomorrow,I will.go.to Church daily!
ReplyDeleteHus."Thank God!".Ha!Ha!
6.Two men were fighting on the road.Another man "Why do you fight? 1stman"He says my wife is a good woman!Ha!Ha!
ReplyDelete7.In a church in Sermon ,Father said"Hus&wife,No fighting".
ReplyDeleteHus&wife looked intently&said "Remember! &started fighting.Ha!Ha!
8.Mother inlaw &Daughter in law were fighting!
ReplyDelete<Moth-"Let my son come,you will see!
Dau-"same applicable to you "Ha!Ha!
9.Mother in law &Daughter in law were fighting!each said " you will go to hell!
ReplyDeletewatching this ,husband -No Vacancy!<God already destined me! ha!ha!
10.In a church,during sermon,a lady came &hugged husband!
ReplyDeleteOn seeing this ,wife said "you better have him !Iam on my way out ! Ha!ha!
General jokes:
ReplyDelete1.In a music concert,a front row lady rasika called her friend,"Kalyani!",vocalist,on hearing got angry,(He was singing kalyani,raga).ha!ha!
2.Father-Why there is so much noise?
ReplyDeleteSons.no problem,we play India Pakisthan game.ha!ha!
Teacher,Students jokes:
ReplyDelete1.Teacher was reading a passage,"There was a Kingdom in 12th century.."
Class became totally silent.(Everybody started sleeping..) Ha!ha!
2.Teacher.."When I was a stdent.."
ReplyDeleteStudents..Teacher..enough!enough!.ha!ha!
3.Tere was lot of noise in the back bench.On hearing
ReplyDeleteteacher"better you people sleep,than making noise." Ha!ha!
4.one girl student was weeping!Seeing,teacher.."what happened?"The girl said "teacher..all girl stdents say"Iam most beautiful.."<ha!ha!
ReplyDelete4.one student while sleeping in the class,shouted in the dream"he is the best teacher,ever I had".ha!ha!
ReplyDelete5.Teacher came,and all stood up,except one fellow.Noticing this,teacher asked "what happened"he said "Iam standing"(he was sleeping).<ha!ha!
ReplyDelete5.Reading a passage,teacher"he was following and was about to be killed"
ReplyDeleteOne studemt "My God"<,(engrossed in the conv.)
6.A class was in progress,suddenly
ReplyDeleteA dog came and stood.
One student"You are the right student,pl.come".everybody laughed.
7.Teacher came and said"No class today"
ReplyDeleteOne boy"Thank you sir"<ha!ha!
8.Teacher"Abraham Lincon
ReplyDeletestarted "Four score and seven years ago.."
Teacher "<what does it mean?"
One student "He only knows ,sir"ha!ha".
9.While in the clas "a squirrel came!
ReplyDeleteOne student"an un wanted visitor "
Every body laughed!
10.Teacher was reading a passage "They fought..."
ReplyDeleteOne boy"what was the result ,sir.."ha!<ha!
H&wJokes:
ReplyDeleteH.why you are slent toda?
H.Tomorrow club election,Iam in tense,tht is why?haz!h!
Husband &wife jokes:
ReplyDelete1.H.What are you doing inthe kichen?
W.Iam making a reeipe!
H.why no aroma is coming out?
W.this is an odourless,but tasty receipe!ha!ha!
2.H,dr,for the past one hour ,it has been raining!
ReplyDeleteW.My God!I thought of taking the car and going to Beach!ha!ha!
3.H.I want to have a,new cap!
ReplyDeleteW.You have already been capped?ha!ha!
4.H.I want to wash my hands.
ReplyDeleteW.I have already washed off my hands (on you)ha!ha!
5.H.Yu look beautiful in this saree!
ReplyDeleteW.What about my beauty? Ha!ha!
6.H.Yesterday,Iwas dreaming throuyghout night!
ReplyDeleteW.He!What was the dream.
H.Defenitely,not about you!ha!ha!
6.H.was sitiing.Suddenly a fellow came and straight went to the kitchen.
ReplyDeleteH.He!Who are you?On calling,the man repled,I am from.hotel.and I brought a new receipe for your wife,who said not to tell on this to you.Ha!ha!
Teacher,Students jokes:
ReplyDelete1.Tea.From tomorrow we will have a new lesson.
S.Ok.let us sleep today!ha!ha!
2.Teacher,Said,Bright students will.be rewarded!
ReplyDeleteS.Back benchers,now let us sleep!ha!ha!
3.A weeping sound heard in the class!
ReplyDeleteT.enquired and found one girl was weeping.When asked,she said "I am fed up with the class!ha!ha!
4.A Stout teacher with great difficulty got on to the chair.&said ,"My God!"
ReplyDeleteS.Teacher__ you take rest.Let us sleep.
4. A Stout teacher with great difficulty,got on to the chair.&said"My God".
ReplyDeleteS.Teacher!you take rest.Let us sleep.ha!ha!
5.Teacher shouted!<All are fools here!
ReplyDeleteS.one student,What about you sir?Ha!ha!
6.Girls &Boys were fighting!Teacher came,What is happening?
ReplyDeleteS.Gender fighting!ha!ha!
7.Teacher!It is raining "cats &dogs"..
ReplyDeleteS.one student.,Where are they?
8.Techer ,reading a passage "Once upon a time...."
ReplyDeleteS.sir.now let us sleep!ha!ha!
9. T."I am fed up with you !
ReplyDeleteS.No escape! Ha!ha!
10. T.On seeing two sTudents fighting,Teacher-"Why do you fight ? "
ReplyDeleteS."No peace found sir!".ha!ha!
Teacher,Students jokes:
ReplyDelete1.In a class a dog came and stood on entrance.
A student:The class is dogged now.ha! Ha!
2.There was heavy noise in the class,before arrival of teacher.
ReplyDeleteTeacher came and silence prevailed.Teacher"Why noise"?
One student,sir ,he says teacher is a fool !ha!ha!
3.Teacher was reading a passage-"The man saw a ghost!.."
ReplyDeleteOne student "-we also see one!"ha!ha!
4.Teacher came and sat and was in silence.
ReplyDeleteOne student"Sir,now let us sleep!ha!ha!
5.One student"what is the class now?
ReplyDeleteAnother"no class"ha!ha!
6.One student was laughing,laughing!
ReplyDeleteTeacher came,and asked "Why do you laugh?
The student " I don't know sir"everybody laughed.!ha!ha!
7.Two girl students were conversing"One said you look beautiful,the other said " no,you look beautiful"
ReplyDeleteHearing this one boy said"You both look ugly"ha!ha!
8.One student to another"tell me,why today is important?
ReplyDeleteAnother-"because,our teacher will not come ,today"
9.Teacher was reading a passage"A dog was barking,barking..."
ReplyDeleteOne student "here also it happens"ha!ha!
10.While in class,a girl student was slowly singing."
ReplyDeleteHearing this ,teacher said "you sing well,but not here."ha"ha!
Husband and wife jokes:
ReplyDelete1.H&W were sleeping .Suddenly a Ghost appeared and asked Husband ""I want your wife".
Hu.Thank God!I am saved!ha!ha!
2.H."Today I am going to cook".
ReplyDeleteW.pl make it as routine,you are always a good man!ha!ha!
3.H.I am going to office.!
ReplyDeleteW.Thank God!I can sleep peacefully.ha!ha!
4.Wife to another lady-"My honey bought this necklace"
ReplyDeleteLady.checking neclace told her,"pl check whether it is gold?
W.Totally down!ha!ha!
Husband&wife jokes:
ReplyDelete1.H!W were sleeping,when a thief came and made some noise.
H.Who are you? Voice-A thief.
H.My God !voice.I am not God ,but a thief.!ha!h!
2.H&W were sleeping.,when the cat mewed!"meww".
ReplyDeleteW.Why you make noise?pl keep quiet like my honey.ha!ha!
3.There was noise in the kitchen.
ReplyDeleteHearig this Husband,What is happening inthe kitchen.?
W."Iam trying a new receipe ,with all ingrediets.!
H.Is there anything left out in the kitchen?ha!ha!
Aunties jokes.
ReplyDelete1. Two aunties were talking.one asked"Are you happy with your in law.
The other.very much!but she always lives in her mother's house.!!'ha!ha!
2.Two were talking! One asked?Is your son look after you well?
ReplyDeleteThe other ,Well Well!.but he lives in America!ha!ha!
3.one to another.He!Malini,yester day I saw your husband with a beautiful lady!Do you know her?ha!ha!
ReplyDelete4.one said"My husband always says I am beautiful
ReplyDeleteThe other,"He!Vimala.there must be some reason behind it !ha!ha!
5.Kamala,one said"My in-law,says I look very old!
ReplyDeleteNarmada!Am I?ha!ha!
6.M&D in laws were fighting<"who cooks well",fighting goes.
ReplyDeleteSeeing this,Son says: He!Father is just waiting! Ha"ha!
7.Bama,"he!Banu ,Will you look after my husband for two days?
ReplyDeleteBanu:What?ha!haha!
8.Two were talking:He!Kamala.our Narmada is very jealous!
ReplyDeleteK.How?
vimala,"Narmada says we are always thick friends"!ha!ha!
9.Kamala and Vimala were talking he!Let us have party next week!Vimala said ok.but one condition,I will.bring "Curd Rice"
ReplyDeleteHa!ha!
10.Radha &Renuka,were talking!
ReplyDeleteRenuka!Radha your husband says,I am always beautiful!ha!ha!
Music jokes.
ReplyDelete1.one vocalist"En piranthai makane.."
One rasika.."why do you curse yourself?ha!ha!
2.one vocalist " Naalai namathe"
ReplyDeleteOne rasika "Are you sure?"ha!ha!
3.vocalist"vanthathu varattum!<"
ReplyDeleteRasika"Dont worry,we are here!ha!ha!
4.vocalist"Neeyethan thunai"
ReplyDeleteRasika",if you have confidence .ok"ha!ha"
5.concert was in full swing..
ReplyDeleteTurning back to sishya,vocalist,"Mada payale"
Sishya immediately sang"Mada payale" ha!ha!
7.Toomuch talking was going on in a concert.
DeleteVocalist "Pesamal irunthal nallathu..."ha!ha!
6.vocalist"Inimelakilum karunai pozhi.."
ReplyDeleteRasika"we will consider"ha"ha!